1. Trust your gut feeling.

Your body’s instincts are more powerful than you normally give them credit for. At multiple times throughout my pregnancy, my body was able to give a better answer than my head. I went with my gut on seeking out adoption, even when the fear in my head and my heart tried to convince me it was too much. I again went with my gut feeling when I first talked to Liam’s parents, knowing within hours that they were going to be his parents and that we were going to have a good relationship. My gut told me how sick I was when my body was riddled with preeclampsia and my doctor thought I was overreacting and there was nothing wrong with me. On the day that Liam was born six weeks early, I texted his new parents without thinking about it, even though the birth plan hadn’t originally included them, because I wanted them to meet their son. All along the way, my gut knew what I needed before I ever did. It’s important to follow your instincts.

2. Take care of your well-being, especially mentally/emotionally.

When you’re pregnant and you didn’t plan to be, it can feel hard to take care of yourself to the level that you need. In an instant, if you didn’t already eat right, exercise, sleep well, etc. you must do so for the sake of the human life growing inside you.

Your doctor and all the books will tell you to reduce your stress level, but how can you when you have big decisions to make and little time to do it? But, as someone who has been where you are, take it from me that you need to take care of you, especially for your mental and emotional well-being. When I found out I was pregnant, I told myself I needed to do what I could to survive and get through. It was a blur of work and trying to sleep and doctor’s appointments and stress. I can’t think of a single thing I did for my mental and emotional health. I was merely trying to survive. 

After Liam was born though, it was like the lid blew off the container and there were all these feelings and emotions and issues I had to deal with that I had buried away and now had to face. Moral of the story: take care of yourself. Say no to people when you need to. Read books. Take naps. See a counselor. Take up a new hobby. Talk to your friends about how you feel, even when you think they won’t understand. Find a group of people to talk to who will understand. Just take care of you because you will be so much better off for it.

3. The things you never expect can be the most incredible things of your life.

I never expected my crisis pregnancy to result in such a beautiful little boy who continues to teach me about the depths of love and pride. I never expected the wonderful open adoption relationship I share with his parents, brother, and him. I love them to the moon and back and am forever grateful that they came into my life when they did and that they have accepted me for who I am. I never expected that a crisis pregnancy would test my relationship with my boyfriend and bring us out on the other side stronger; I’m now preparing to be his wife. There is so much I never expected: to find adoption to be a blessing in my life, to find such joy and healing in writing about it, and to make such incredible friends along this journey.

Having a crisis pregnancy was one of the scariest experiences I think I’ll ever have in life. It tested me and showed me I was stronger than I ever thought. I am truly sorry if you find yourself in this position, but hope you find this in your time of need and know that someone wants to help ease your journey.

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Not sure what to do next? First, know that you are not alone. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to speak to one of our Options Counselors to get compassionate, nonjudgmental support. We are here to assist you in any way we can.

The post 3 Things My Crisis Pregnancy Taught Me appeared first on Crisis Pregnancy | Center, Outreach, Unplanned Pregnancy.

When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, you’re often told that you have options. It can be scary to have to make decisions that will affect not only you, but other people. We are going to take a look at two of these unplanned pregnancy options, parenting and adoption, and the thought process I recommend when considering the possibilities.

Parenting

In considering whether or not you want to pursue the option of parenting your unborn child, there are some questions you should ask yourself: am I in a position financially to take care of another person? In my current living situation, is there space for a child to live in? Is it a safe place? If the answers to any of those are questions are no, what would it take to accomplish those goals? Am I able to do it in a timely manner, either during my pregnancy or shortly after, to ensure that my child can be well taken care of by me? These questions can be hard to consider, but it is important to answer them realistically.

Another thing to ask yourself is if you have a support system in place to help you raise the child. This can mean having steady childcare so you can maintain a job, having a babysitter handy in times of need, or even having a person available in case of emergency. Consider whether your family or friends are dependable to look after your child in your absence. Also, consider whether or not you are ready to dedicate the rest of your life to the wants and needs of this child and what that means for your future.

Adoption Plan

In making an adoption plan, there are many avenues to consider. You may think about placing through an agency, finding a family privately through an attorney or on your own, or even placing the child with a family member in a kinship adoption (each of which can depend on the laws in the state where you live).

Once you decide the route through which you would like to proceed, you need to decide what you are looking for in potential parents of your child: single parent, married couple, same-sex, religious, already have children or not, traditional views, the list goes on. Sometimes, you won’t even know what you want in prospective parents until you meet them, and that’s okay. One important thing to think about is whether you hope to have continuing contact through an open or semi-open adoption plan, or if you would prefer to not have contact with your child. Different things work for different people, and it is good to have an idea of what you’re comfortable with.

All of this may seem overwhelming right now. Not only are you hormonal because of your pregnancy, but you are facing big life decisions that carry a lot of emotions. It is okay not to know, or to take your time to figure it out. There are counselors and other people who have been in the same position as you that would be willing to discuss options and give you a better idea. Just remember that you are in the driver’s seat of this process and only you can truly know what is the best option for you and your unplanned pregnancy.

For more guidance in your unexpected pregnancy, visit Adoption.com.

Are you considering adoption and want to give your child the best life possible? Let us help you find an adoptive family that you love. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

The post Thinking Through Your Unplanned Pregnancy Options appeared first on Crisis Pregnancy | Center, Outreach, Unplanned Pregnancy.