1. Listen First

It is so easy to try to come up with a solution when a friend is in crisis. It is only human nature for us to want to try and fix things. You may have even gone through a crisis pregnancy yourself. However, a pregnancy is a very intimate time. The decisions that your friend will make will be carried with them for the rest of their life. Even if you feel the urge to point them in a direction, be quick to listen. Let them tell you their fears and their feelings. It is much more likely that they will trust your opinion and confide in you if they have felt that you are a listening ear and value their feelings first. 

2. Encourage Support

One of the hardest parts of a crisis pregnancy can be having to go it alone. The best thing you can do for your friend is to not only listen but be supportive of them. This does not mean you will agree with every choice they make, but let them know that they have you in their corner. Along with this, encourage them to seek the support of others. While a crisis pregnancy can often be a shock to friends and family, many family members and friends will want to be there for their loved one in their time of need. If it is a safe situation, encourage your friend to tell their family about their pregnancy.

3. Gather Information

Once the shock of a crisis pregnancy has subsided, your friend will have choices to make regarding their pregnancy. While you cannot make any decision for them, you can help them explore their options. Help them lay out the pros and cons of each choice as well as seek guidance from their family if possible. It is also helpful to make sure they are fully informed of all of the choices available to them. Many often have a skewed idea of what adoption will mean or what choosing to parent the child will look like. A great place to start is on the Pregnancy page at Adoption.org. This will provide information about adoption as an option, but also provide general information about what to expect from an unplanned pregnancy. Encourage your friend to take a deep breath and not make rash decisions. While time is of the essence, making the right choice in this situation is crucial as their whole life will change regardless of their choice. Being a good friend in a crisis pregnancy will hinge largely on listening, being present, and helping your friend gather the tools and support they need to get through this time.

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1. Don’t be ashamed

Being pregnant is not something to be ashamed of. Maybe you aren’t proud of the choices that led up to the pregnancy. But the child, in and of itself, deserves to be celebrated as much as any other baby. It hasn’t done anything wrong, and neither have you. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says–this is your pregnancy and your choice, and you can choose how you feel about it. It won’t be easy, but no matter what you decide, you don’t need to be ashamed.

2. Consider your options carefully

There is no easy ‘solution’ to a crisis pregnancy. Parenting, placing for adoption, and aborting all come with consequences that should be seriously considered. Making a snap decision without carefully weighing the pros and cons will likely lead to regret. You have some time to decide what to do. Take all the time you need, and use both your head and your heart to make decisions.

3. Breathe

Take your time. You don’t have to make all the decisions right now. You have nine months. Take it one day at a time, and take care of yourself and your baby by getting enough sleep, exercising, and eating right. These basic things can be difficult to do when you’re going through a crisis, but making simple healthy changes will make a world of difference in your ability to feel good and think clearly.

4. Build a support system

You don’t have to go through this alone. More than likely, you have family and friends who will be there to support you. Even if you don’t, you can find a support group for women facing crisis pregnancies or a therapist who offers individual counseling. Find a doctor that will make sure you and your baby are healthy. Make use of anyone and everyone who can help you get through this pregnancy.

5. Don’t give up

You can do this. I know, because I did. A crisis pregnancy doesn’t ruin your life, it just changes it. You are strong enough to get through it, smart enough to know what to do, and capable enough to carry it out. Your mothers’ intuition will help you along the way.

Are you considering adoption and want to give your child the best life possible? Let us help you find an adoptive family that you love. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

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1. What if I think a crime has been committed?

If you have been sexually assaulted, contact the police. If you are a victim of incest, contact the police. If you are a minor and you became pregnant through your “boyfriend” who is an adult, that may be a crime. Contacting the police or Child Protective Services can be scary, so if you are a teen, go to your school nurse or a trusted teacher or coach. You should not have to live in fear. Let the authorities decide whether a crime has been committed. For more information, click here.

2. What if I am threatened with homelessness and have nowhere to go?

If you fear you will be homeless because someone found out you are pregnant, there are places to go. A maternity home is a place where pregnant moms can go to get the help you need. At a maternity home, you will be amongst others who are going through the same situation and where you can get support during your pregnancy and afterward also. You can get child care, parenting education, supplies for your baby, transportation to/from doctor’s appointments and best of all, free room and board until you get things sorted out. For more information on homelessness and maternity homes, check here.

3. What if I am pregnant and addicted to drugs or alcohol?

If you are carrying a little one and are addicted to drugs or alcohol, you face the risk having the child removed from your custody once you give birth at the hospital. The child may be placed with Child Protective Services and you have may have a drawn-out legal battle to regain custody. But worse than that, you face risking the health of your baby. The substances you are putting into your body make its way down to the child. When you take a drink, so does your child. Your child could be at risk for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or Fetal Drug Syndrome, both of which are irreversible. Get help before its too late. If not for your sake, for the baby’s sake.

If someone tells you there is only one solution to “take care” of your crisis pregnancy, you might want to consider going to someone else. Whether it is family, friends, the faith community or the community at large, there are many, many places to get help and advice. Don’t isolate yourself! The more advice you receive from trusted adults the more you will be able to make an educated decision, be it parenting or making an adoption plan. Remember you are not only seeking help for you but also for your baby. Knowing how to get help for a crisis pregnancy can help you and your baby.

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Not sure what to do next? First, know that you are not alone. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to speak to one of our Options Counselors to get compassionate, nonjudgmental support. We are here to assist you in any way we can.

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1) Pregnancy Resource Centers

A Pregnancy Resource Center, also known as a Crisis Pregnancy Center, focuses on the pregnant woman as well as their preborn baby. Some of their services may include:  free pregnancy tests, parenting classes, prenatal development classes, counseling, free STD-testing, life coaching and free supplies such as diapers, baby wipes, etc. These centers give you full information on what to expect in labor and delivery and beyond. These centers respect you as a person and will be there for you regardless of what you decide to do. They may even provide post-abortion counseling if needed. These centers have programs for Dads as well if he is still involved. Some centers may even provide free ultrasounds so you can see you’re your baby. All of these centers perform these services free of charge. Click here for more information.

2) WIC

WIC (Women, Infant, and Children) is a free, federal program that serves women and their children, ages 0-5. This program focuses on health and wellness. It provides vouchers for cereal, dairy products, cheese, fruits, and vegetables. It also provides formula for infants.  This is meant to supplement normal groceries, not to replace them. WIC also has a prenatal program that will help you while you are pregnant with things like prenatal vitamins, free check-ups, etc.

3)    HEAD START

Head Start is another free, federal program that promotes health and education for mom and child. It has traditionally served children ages 3-5, but of late it has served children 0-5 and pregnant moms as well. This program is helpful especially to teen moms and to first-time moms. In some states, Head Start has a home-based program, where representatives can tailor personalized services.

The worst thing you could do in a crisis pregnancy is nothing. Remember, you are not only seeking help for yourself but for your baby as well. There is support out there, whether privately or publicly. Get a trusted friend or family member to help you track down these resources. The three I’ve mentioned are just a start. Do your homework and know that you are not alone.

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Not sure what to do next? First, know that you are not alone. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to speak to one of our Options Counselors to get compassionate, nonjudgmental support. We are here to assist you in any way we can.

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When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, you’re often told that you have options. It can be scary to have to make decisions that will affect not only you, but other people. We are going to take a look at two of these unplanned pregnancy options, parenting and adoption, and the thought process I recommend when considering the possibilities.

Parenting

In considering whether or not you want to pursue the option of parenting your unborn child, there are some questions you should ask yourself: am I in a position financially to take care of another person? In my current living situation, is there space for a child to live in? Is it a safe place? If the answers to any of those are questions are no, what would it take to accomplish those goals? Am I able to do it in a timely manner, either during my pregnancy or shortly after, to ensure that my child can be well taken care of by me? These questions can be hard to consider, but it is important to answer them realistically.

Another thing to ask yourself is if you have a support system in place to help you raise the child. This can mean having steady childcare so you can maintain a job, having a babysitter handy in times of need, or even having a person available in case of emergency. Consider whether your family or friends are dependable to look after your child in your absence. Also, consider whether or not you are ready to dedicate the rest of your life to the wants and needs of this child and what that means for your future.

Adoption Plan

In making an adoption plan, there are many avenues to consider. You may think about placing through an agency, finding a family privately through an attorney or on your own, or even placing the child with a family member in a kinship adoption (each of which can depend on the laws in the state where you live).

Once you decide the route through which you would like to proceed, you need to decide what you are looking for in potential parents of your child: single parent, married couple, same-sex, religious, already have children or not, traditional views, the list goes on. Sometimes, you won’t even know what you want in prospective parents until you meet them, and that’s okay. One important thing to think about is whether you hope to have continuing contact through an open or semi-open adoption plan, or if you would prefer to not have contact with your child. Different things work for different people, and it is good to have an idea of what you’re comfortable with.

All of this may seem overwhelming right now. Not only are you hormonal because of your pregnancy, but you are facing big life decisions that carry a lot of emotions. It is okay not to know, or to take your time to figure it out. There are counselors and other people who have been in the same position as you that would be willing to discuss options and give you a better idea. Just remember that you are in the driver’s seat of this process and only you can truly know what is the best option for you and your unplanned pregnancy.

For more guidance in your unexpected pregnancy, visit Adoption.com.

Are you considering adoption and want to give your child the best life possible? Let us help you find an adoptive family that you love. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

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Hope is a wonderful thing. Hope in crisis is like a breath of fresh air. The word crisis means a time of intense trouble where a difficult or important decision must be made. A crisis pregnancy center (or resource pregnancy centers) exists to offer hope and life-affirming choices to women who find themselves in unexpected pregnancy situations and are considering abortions.

Often pregnancy centers are seen as places that care only about keeping the babies from being aborted, but the workers in the centers care just as much about the well-being of the women who are carrying the babies. Many women who are helped by crisis pregnancy centers are in shock over their pregnancy and feel overwhelmed by the choices that they must make. Some do not feel they are ready to parent a child. Some are still reeling from the violent nature in which the child was conceived. Some are young or want to finish school. Some have no support system to help them raise a child. Some feel they are simply without hope. Workers at a pregnancy center show compassion for the women and the situations in which they find themselves. They listen, without judgement, as the women tell their stories. Then the workers offer hope in a variety of ways.

The women are assured that they and their baby have worth. Their pregnancy isn’t a mistake. While they are not a medical facility, many centers have registered nurses and can offer limited ultrasounds and prenatal advice. The hope is that when the women see their babies on the monitor and hear their baby’s heartbeat, they will see the pregnancy as a life and not something to be terminated. Some centers even send the ultrasound pictures home with the women as a tactile reminder that there is a life growing inside them.

Pregnancy centers offer abortion alternatives. Most centers will not discuss abortion as a solution but seek to inform the women that there are other choices that can be made. Should the women decide to parent the baby, most centers offer post-decision support and parenting education classes to encourage them to be the best parent they can be. Some of the time, the centers offer clothing and baby supplies as an incentive for the women to complete the courses. If the women are not able to parent the child themselves, they can make kinship (family) care plans or an adoption plan. Both options allow the women to choose where their child is placed, and, in most cases, allow them to have limited contact and/or communication to the child and its new family. Pregnancy centers are not adoption agencies, but often refer the women to supporting agencies to make the adoption plan.

In the event that a woman chooses to have an abortion, some pregnancy centers offer abortion recovery groups where the women can anonymously come to a support group with others who have had abortions. Because of the stigma and the trauma to post-abortive women, they can find help and healing as they learn to surrender their secret in a safe place.

In short, pregnancy centers are nonprofit organizations that provide compassionate support to women faced with difficult pregnancy decisions. They offer caring, non-judgmental places for the women to explore pregnancy options and to receive accurate information and confidential services. Pregnancy centers offer clients these services without charge at almost every center. While Pregnancy centers may differ by location in what they can offer to their clients, two things that they all have in common are that they speak for LIFE and offer HOPE.

Are you considering adoption and want to give your child the best life possible? Let us help you find an adoptive family that you love. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

Helpful Links:

Find a Pregnancy Center

Pro-Life Support

Visit Adoption.com/unplanned-pregnancy for more guidance on your crisis pregnancy.

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Facing a crisis pregnancy is probably one of the most stressful things you can experience in life, so don’t go it alone. Read through this list to see the many options you have when facing a crisis pregnancy.

1. Your parents: The next closest human who loves you more than you love yourself is your mother. A mother has a very special bond with her children. This woman most likely changed the majority of your diapers and rocked you through every fever you had until you outgrew her lap. She may be able to offer you some sound advice. Your father also experienced the “fears” and “anxieties” surrounding a first pregnancy. And, quite likely, he has a certain affinity for you and a desire for you to have the best life possible.
2. Your pastor: Okay so you are convinced that your mother and father will freak out. That could be. Do you have a pastor or other religious leader to talk to? You may not be aware, but most pastors complete a certain amount of psychological counseling training. Therefore, your pastor should have some tools to walk you through your next steps. Also, since your pastor is not a part of your family he/she may be able to look at your situation without judgement, and he/she will probably be a wealth of helpful information. If you aren’t comfortable with the gender of your pastor, perhaps try his or her spouse. The spouse of a pastor often can lend a caring ear and may be able to point you in a good direction from there.
3. Your family doctor: You will definitely need a doctor if you are truly facing a crisis pregnancy. If possible, wouldn’t it be best to consult the doctor who has known you/your family for years? Getting some bonafide medical advice should be a top priority. Your doctor who knows you already is a great place to start. And don’t worry, they won’t tell anyone. They are sworn to secrecy. 
4. Crisis Pregnancy Center: A Crisis Pregnancy Center (CPC) can offer you a free pregnancy test along with access to resources like counseling, financial assistance, child-rearing resources, and adoption referrals. You should know that CPCs are typically ran by those that are pro-life. If you are looking for a way to carry your baby full term, a CPC can help you choose the best route taking into consideration your individual resources and concerns.
5. Another trusted adult: This person doesn’t necessarily have to be someone with whom you are close. But this person should be someone who can be fully trusted in a situation where you are vulnerable. This person could be someone who knows your family and perhaps has known you since you were born. (God parent, Aunt, a family friend).
6. Someone who’s been through it: Do you know any single moms or someone who has gone through an unexpected pregnancy? It might benefit you to have a private conversation with this person. Please do remember, it may be painful for this person to discuss something so personal, but if she is willing, you may benefit from hearing how someone went through a similar situation.

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Not sure what to do next? First, know that you are not alone. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to speak to one of our Options Counselors to get compassionate, nonjudgmental support. We are here to assist you in any way we can.

For more help with your unplanned pregnancy and wading through alternatives to abortion, visit Adoption.com.

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