A crisis pregnancy can not only be a shock to the person pregnant, but to those around them. It is not always easy to know how to react of how to be supportive in these situations. In fact, it is often easier to ignore or judge the situation than it is to remain helpful and supportive. If you have a friend going through a crisis pregnancy, the best way to help them is to remain a friend during this time. Think of all the attributes that make a good friend and be that for them. It is unlikely that there will ever be a time they will need a good friend more than now.
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Listen First
It is so easy to try to come up with a solution when a friend is in crisis. It is only human nature for us to want to try and fix things. You may have even gone through a crisis pregnancy yourself. However, a pregnancy is a very intimate time. The decisions that your friend will make will be carried with them for the rest of their life. Even if you feel the urge to point them in a direction, be quick to listen. Let them tell you their fears and their feelings. It is much more likely that they will trust your opinion and confide in you if they have felt that you are a listening ear and value their feelings first.
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Encourage Support
One of the hardest parts of a crisis pregnancy can be having to go it alone. The best thing you can do for your friend is to not only listen but be supportive of them. This does not mean you will agree with every choice they make, but let them know that they have you in their corner. Along with this, encourage them to seek the support of others. While a crisis pregnancy can often be a shock to friends and family, many family members and friends will want to be there for their loved one in their time of need. If it is a safe situation, encourage your friend to tell their family about their pregnancy.
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Gather Information
Once the shock of a crisis pregnancy has subsided, your friend will have choices to make regarding their pregnancy. While you cannot make any decision for them, you can help them explore their options. Help them lay out the pros and cons of each choice as well as seek guidance from their family if possible. It is also helpful to make sure they are fully informed of all of the choices available to them. Many often have a skewed idea of what adoption will mean or what choosing to parent the child will look like. A great place to start is on the Pregnancy page at Adoption.org. This will provide information about adoption as an option, but also provide general information about what to expect from an unplanned pregnancy. Encourage your friend to take a deep breath and not make rash decisions. While time is of the essence, making the right choice in this situation is crucial as their whole life will change regardless of their choice. Being a good friend in a crisis pregnancy will hinge largely on listening, being present, and helping your friend gather the tools and support they need to get through this time.
